The Augusta County War did provide one piece of comic relief

Not that this was the intention of “Republican Veteran” Ray Ergenbright, but when I saw this (forwarded) blast e-mail he sent out, I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.

For your comic relief, I reproduce in full:

Friends and fellow Republicans:

You have been warned over the past several months, through these musings, that our belief system is being threatened by extremists who want to control the Republican Party in the Valley. Well proof was delivered in spades this past Saturday.

The M&M (Michael/Mitchell) Cult continues to misinform their followers regarding the activities in which it engages. At the 6th District Convention on Saturday Lynn Mitchell patted herself and Michael on the back as she boasted about all they have done for the Republican cause. You would think that she and Michael are the only real Republicans and that they alone must approve of anyone who claims loyalty to the Republican Party in the 6th Congressional District. Mitchell/Michael talk about themselves being “grassroots” volunteers; well many agree! The problem is the roots they propagate are crab-grassroots.

The following description of crabgrass appears on a gardening website:
“Crabgrass is a type of annual HYPERLINK “http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-crabgrass.htm” \ngrass which appears in the warm season, and is native to Europe, although it has colonized much of North America as well, to the dismay of many HYPERLINK “http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-crabgrass.htm” \ngardeners [traditional conservatives]. The stubborn rooting grass can be difficult to eradicate when it colonizes, and it tends to overwhelm native [long time party supporters] species with an aggressive seeding pattern and rapid growth habit. As a result, most gardeners [traditional conservatives] try to prevent crabgrass [cults] from emerging in their HYPERLINK “http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-crabgrass.htm” \ngardens, and take serious steps to eradicate it when it does.” (HYPERLINK “http://www.wisegeek.com/what-iscrabgrass.htm“http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-crabgrass.htm)

Enough analogies; had the 6th District Committee Chairman and RPV intervened when it was obvious that Kurt Michael was out of control, this intra-party fiasco, made public by bloggers like “SWAC Girl” , “In-Politically Correct”, “Journal of the [un]Civilized Man” and “Spank That Donkey”, would have been avoided and the Republican Party would not be the laughing stock of political pundits and bloggers.

Now it is time for newly re-elected 6th Congressional District Chairman, Fred Anderson, to step up as a true leader and return this District to the position of integrity it once held. It is past time for the Republican Party of Virginia to review and revise its Party Plan to ensure that the interests of all Party members are served and not just those of political cultists like Kurt Michael and Lynn Mitchell.

Now, let’s put aside for a moment that this Michael/Mitchell monolith that terrifies poor Ray can’t even agree on a candidate for U.S. Senate (Michael supports Bob Marshall; Lynn Mitchell backs Gilmore).  Further leave aside the amusing diversion into crabgrass (then again, my lawn is such a mess I’ll take any grass right now).  One might be inclined to give Mr. Ergenbright some slack if he were a current elected official, or at least out up a tremendous fight in a Democratic stronghold.

In fact, Ergenbright was so soundly thumped in his re-election bid three years ago (for Commissioner of Revenue in Staunton, BTW), this his vote totalwas less than all three statewide Republican candidates (Kilgore, Bolling, and McDonnell) and less than all three statewide Democratic candidates.

Just ponder that for a moment: the people of the 6th Congressional District (which includes both Augusta and Staunton) are supposed to take political advice from someone who won fewer votes than Leslie Byrne.

I told you it was funny.